The mind that never rests
You probably had nights where your mind would keep going over previous days, months or even years’ worth of memories and replaying them over and over again. And other times it would think of countless future scenarios and be worried over nothing. Well, turns out, this is a common problem and this also has a solution. It is basically a lot of data that we do not need but it keeps processing and the reprocessing, and so on. I will explain it in detail and also how to deal with overthinking and be finally free of this self proclaimed curse.
What is overthinking, Really?
To solve any problem, we need to understand it first. When we know what, why and how something happens, only then can we proceed to the next step of solution.
The two faces of overthinking
- Ruminating : Thinking about the past. We play past scenarios, discussions, monologs and activities in our head. We see what we did wrong and how we could do it write.
- Worrying : Thinking about tbe future. We rethink all the the possible outcomes of future events in detail.
- Both may seem like thinking and getting more understanding but excess of anything is dangerous and in this case, it ruins mental peace
Why we confuse it with intelligence
Many people believe that if they think more, then they know more. Thinking indeed is linked with intelligence but not in this case. Thinking without a direction just causes you to rethink everything again and again only to get to the same outcome and do it all over again. If you don’t gain new insight, benefits or understanding through thinking then you know it is just overthinking
The psychology behind overthinking
Brain’s safety mechanism
Overthinking is our brain’s way of feeling that everything is in our control. When we think, our thoughts are in our control and that is what brain wants in situations that it fears. Our fear center of the brain called amygdala is triggered when we come across situations that can induce fear, such as humiliation, mess ups, fear of being judged, fear of something going wrong etc. When the brain induces thoughts, they are considered a familiar territory of safe zone.
How emotions fuel it
Every emotion has an effect on our brain. Fear of loss, rejection or regret are strong electrical impulses that our neurons pick and then this stimulates overthinking.
To deal with it, we need to solve our unresolved emotions such as not feeling loved, fears, and desires.
Signs you are caught in a loop
- Constantly replaying conversations
- Delaying decisions
- Feeling tired despite doing nothing
- Doubting your choices
When I was caught in it, I’d also think that I’m just being careful and it is a good thing to think things through but when I realized later on, it was just a fear of being wrong.
How to break free from overthinking
1. Limit thinking time
It is not human to not think at all, but we can certainly limit it. Best option is to limit it to only 15 minutes or so, a day. Use these minutes to think, overthink and think a lot, but when the time is over, you will not think of any past or future problems. If you think that it will cause you to lose your ability to think things through, then don’t worry. You are allowed to think what requires urgent thinking, but no more than that.
Limits set by yourself are not easy to keep up, but they are also not hard. Start with reducing the time to half of what you spend on overthinking, like 2 hours to 1 hour. Keep this up until you get used to it and rrach 15 minutes. This will train your brain to not prioritize unnecessary thoughts.
2.Take imperfect actions
Action is an excellent anitidotr to fear. You fear the outcome but as soon as you act, you focus more on your action and the fear is reduced just like that. Our brain can’t analyze things and act on them at the same time. So, when you are doing something without being sure if they will work or not, you are making yourslef exposed to the fear which is reduced by action and makes your body understand that it was irrational.
3. Write to Empty your brain
You can start writing a journal and whatever problems you faced, along with the improvements that you have made. Once the thoughts are on paper, they will stop spinning in your mind. This calms your nervous system.
4. Mindfulness
Do meditation, yoga, stretching or other forms of exercises. These calm your brain and impowers your body. A stronger body has a stronger mind.
5. Stop using logic against emotions
We can understand why certain emotions were triggered but we can not put logic to them. This one thing makes humans special. So, stop reasoning with emotions and let them be your background noise. What matters is how you act and overtime, the background noise of emotion stops bothering you.
Inner peace
Acceptance, not control
Certain things need to be accepted the way they are because it is not possible to control them. The more you resist, the more it hurts. Just accept what you cannot change and let that be.
I have explained how to accept things in further detail, you can read it
Acceptance-learning how to accept thing
Let life flow
The mind wants control but the soul wants experience. Use your mind to feed your soul.
Overthinking is just a fear disguised in the form of intelligence. It may all seem complicated but all you need to do is start from one point and move up gradually. On the journey, note your improvements.